Movie Review: Transformers The Last Knight

And I hope it is the last installment of the franchise.

What can I say; people go watch Transformers for the cool fighting scenes of the Autobots, for Optimus Prime, and for Bumblebee. Moreover, people at my age or older go watch Transformers for a quick trip down the memory lane of childhood. We kind of grew up with the idea that some motor vehicles could change themselves into these gigantic, cool, and human-like robots. It’s an absurd idea, but an entertaining one for children.

Shall we discuss about Transformers starting from the 1st installment or Transformers which has Mark Wahlberg in it (Transformers 4 and 5)? I have no problem with Wahlberg. As the matter of fact I kind of idolized him when he was Marky Mark touring with his brother’s boy band group, the New Kids On The Block. But Wahlberg makes every movie he starred in typical him. I don’t think it’s a good sign when I watched him in Transformers and it was not any different with when I watched him in Four Brothers (2005). He conveyed the same go-to-hell attitude, a hot-shot stance, a quick-on-his-feet acting (I hardly saw him being still in his movies), and that makes him … BORING. Yep, Wahlberg is boring. And even his muscled body (I wouldn’t say well-toned body considering he’s not that tall) and six-pack abs he was “accidentally” showing off to Viviane character didn’t look appealing at all. Action-wise, many actors could perform the stunts like he did. Acting-wise, did he even act in it? I like Transformers 1-3 better with Shia Labeouf in them. He was awkward, sloppy, and clumsy, and those were the supposedly attitudes you have when you have a sudden encounter with vehicles turning into robots and have to deal with them on daily basis. I’m so glad he didn’t star in Transformers 4 and 5, because it would have made him that typical actor for typical cast and it would have hurt his career in a long run.

What else should I discuss about? Quintessa as the god who created Cybertron was not as powerful as I thought. She couldn’t stop the 12 knights who betrayed her and stole her staff. She still needed the help of her creation (Optimus Prime) to get the staff and suck earth (Unicron) dry in order to rebuild Cybertron. What good is a god without her own power to do what she wants when she wants it? Isn’t a god supposed to be omnipresent and possess other superpower abilities? At the end of the movie Quintessa transformed herself into an Asian-looking woman. Man, I was hoping she would have changed into one of the machines we have on earth. After all, she’s the creator of Autobots, wasn’t she?

The Izabella character showed off too much chest for a 14-year old, and she had it pointed out by one of the kids who got lost in the former area of the Battle of Chicago. “Wow, you’ve got a big heart,” said the white boy while looking at her chest. Seriously, Michael Bay and whoever wrote that line, that’s just ferocious. Izabella and the four kids were too insignificant that they might as well be wiped off the story line. The Viviane character was sassy, fierce, and unfortunately showing off too much of her chest. She would have been more believable as a professor if she had worn something more dignified. I’d rather hear her speaking in a very pleasant English accent than see the very low cut of her dress. But you know Michael Bay and his tendency to show off women’s skin as much as possible in his movies. I suppose that is one consistently irritating behavior of his.

Sir Anthony Hopkins as a member of the Witwiccan Order added the right charm for the movie, if not the best entertaining part of it. He and his Autobot, Cogman, provided the correct dose of adventure, humor, and sarcasm which were typically English. Hopkins’ acting was as always graceful and deep. It’s just sad that long after “Silence of The Lamb” he became just an add-on in a blockbuster movie like Transformers. But again, Transformers never promises enchanting story lines; at best it’s just a story of Autobots fighting with each other. Seeing Hopkins in Transformers was like seeing Charlize Theron in Fast and Furious 8. Is job opportunity in Hollywood nowadays too scarce for aging actors like them that they’re willing to take on these kinds of roles? I really wonder.

I won’t start discussing the story lines because the plots have many holes and many parts were not believable. It felt unfortunate to watch a movie which didn’t appreciate the intelligence of its viewers. I didn’t care less about Cade character being The Chosen One just because he was handed the talisman. The concept offered was too usual, too predictable, and too boring. The dialogues were full of the words “s&*t” and “b%$&h” which were easily uttered even by children. I wonder if the writers couldn’t find the correct synonyms for those two words. More of two hours of screen time was too long for me that I started noticing the grammatical errors in the dialogues, and I almost fell asleep during the fighting scene in the Stonehenge. Optimus Prime was as cool as always, but he didn’t appear on screen as much as I expected. I always loved seeing Bumblebee and I thought the cars shown here were much better than in FF8. What warmed my heart when I saw this movie were the scenic beauty of England with its green pastures and old castle, and London with its paved roads and elegance. They brought back such fond memories of our trip to UK 5 years ago.




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